The People of The Jeremy Kyle Show

If you have ever watched The Jeremy Kyle Show (and I assume that if you live in the UK then you have) you will understand the shows premise. People go on it in an attempt to find some sort of reasonable conclusion to arguments they have been having with friends, partners or their families – sometimes all three. They can have DNA and lie detector tests, and Jeremy Kyle attempts to mediate the feuding groups into some sort of peace. He does this aided by a very beefy security guard, who is present in case the participants forget they are on national TV and try and knockout their own mother or something, which happens all too frequently. He is also assisted by everybody’s favourite, Graham. Graham is Head of Aftercare on the show and is apparently able to help people with everything from drug addiction to organising child maintenance payments.

Often the title of the show revolves around a question that the participants wish to know the answer to. For example: Is my boyfriend also my brother? Will my fiance run off with my gay best friend? Is it true that my husband is sleeping with my sister? My brother stole my girlfriend but is he the father of my child? etc…

You get the general idea. However, when I watch The Jeremy Kyle Show, I have only usually have one question: HOW DID YOU GET ANYONE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU?

To back up my point, I would like to supply you with some screenshots of people who have actually featured on the show:

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I rest my case.

Maybe they just have really great personalities. Although judging from the show, this is difficult to believe. I reckon they must just have sex with other people who have also been on The Jeremy Kyle Show. I never ever see people that look this when I’m out and about, so god only knows where they all are. I hope they’re all very happy with each other, and all I would like to say to them is: ‘how about a visit to the dentist once in a while?’.

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